I was born into a very religious environment, a strict Catholic family and that became a bigger and bigger problem for me as I grew up. I remember viewing my first feature length movie as a six year old at St Joseph's Catholic grade school, the movie entitled The Crucifixion. I came home in tears and informed my parents that Jesus did not die on the cross. I did my best to be a good little Catholic boy by studying the catechism, becoming an altar boy, learning my prayers in Latin and fighting with the nuns all the way through grade school. My run ins with the nuns caused me to turn from an extrovert to an extreme introvert as I realized by the age of twelve that every time I opened my mouth I was in big trouble.

I played the game as I saw it the best I could but deep inside me I knew something was wrong. My college years were happier as I spent them away from my parents, living in a fraternity house. I immediately quit going to church and learned about the therapeutic effects of alcohol. I worked part time at my Father's business. I did not realize that I already had a great deal of pain to kill. I spent a few years learning the business as I was being groomed to take over and be an upstanding citizen there in my hometown in Southwestern North Dakota. By age 25 I had mastered the business and was bored to death with it and everything else about being Mr. Good Citizen. And of course I was in extreme pain now and needed cocaine along with the alcohol to bring some temporary peace to my life, at least for a few hours at night.

The cocaine led to legal problems and drug treatment. I remember a drug councilor telling that I was in denial about it all. My Catholic upbringing led me to believe that there was nothing wrong with me so I knew the councilor was an idiot. Somewhere in all this commotion I discovered Edgar Cayce and started reading about him and all the other metaphysical authors. I mostly liked what I read but was still wanting something more, my inside emotional life still churning. I left the family business and North Dakota (I think I broke my Father's heart but he may also have been relieved to see me leave) and moved to LA.

While staying at a friends house in Santa Monica I discovered a Unarius book in her library. I immediately, upon picking up the book, experienced a phenomena I could not explain. Everywhere I looked I saw a giant inverted, coral colored C. I was drinking beer and eating pizza, a little drunk but not too bad, and I kept testing this C, shifting my gaze everywhere and that C just stayed there right in front of me. I had no idea what it meant but the next morning I called the Unarius Center in El Cajon and spoke to a man who called himself Charles. He told me that he had been waiting for years for me to call, that I was his younger brother. I had no idea about that either but I felt really good about this book I had discovered so I ordered books of my own and started studying.

For the first time in my adult life I felt like maybe, just maybe, I had found a home. That was perhaps 28 years ago and I have been studying Unarius ever since. The changes in me have been great and wonderful. I still feel the pain but I can handle it all quite well without medication. I am learning about myself, about life and my true purpose here. That brings me great comfort. I feel like I am finally pointed in the right direction.

 

Respectfully submitted

Gary Kainz

Submitted by: Gary Kainz on 08/22/2013

Tagged with: