I was born into a very religious environment, a strict Catholic family and that became a bigger and bigger problem for me as I grew up. I remember viewing my first feature length movie as a six year old at St Joseph's Catholic grade school, the movie entitled The Crucifixion. I came home in tears and informed my parents that Jesus did not die on the cross. I did my best to be a good little Catholic boy by studying the catechism, becoming an altar boy, learning my prayers in Latin and fighting with the nuns all the way through grade school. My run ins with the nuns caused me to turn from an extrovert to an extreme introvert as I realized by the age of twelve that every time I opened my mouth I was in big trouble.
I played the game as I saw it the best I could but deep inside me I knew something was wrong. My college years were happier as I spent them away from my parents, living in a fraternity house. I immediately quit going to church and learned about the therapeutic effects of alcohol. I worked part time at my Father's business. I did not realize that I already had a great deal of pain to kill. I spent a few years learning the business as I was being groomed to take over and be an upstanding citizen there in my hometown in Southwestern North Dakota. By age 25 I had mastered the business and was bored to death with it and everything else about being Mr. Good Citizen. And of course I was in extreme pain now and needed cocaine along with the alcohol to bring some temporary peace to my life, at least for a few hours at night.
The cocaine led to legal problems and drug treatment. I remember a drug councilor telling that I was in denial about it all. My Catholic upbringing led me to believe that there was nothing wrong with me so I knew the councilor was an idiot. Somewhere in all this commotion I discovered Edgar Cayce and started reading about him and all the other metaphysical authors. I mostly liked what I read but was still wanting something more, my inside emotional life still churning. I left the family business and North Dakota (I think I broke my Father's heart but he may also have been relieved to see me leave) and moved to LA.
While staying at a friends house in Santa Monica I discovered a Unarius book in her library. I immediately, upon picking up the book, experienced a phenomena I could not explain. Everywhere I looked I saw a giant inverted, coral colored C. I was drinking beer and eating pizza, a little drunk but not too bad, and I kept testing this C, shifting my gaze everywhere and that C just stayed there right in front of me. I had no idea what it meant but the next morning I called the Unarius Center in El Cajon and spoke to a man who called himself Charles. He told me that he had been waiting for years for me to call, that I was his younger brother. I had no idea about that either but I felt really good about this book I had discovered so I ordered books of my own and started studying.
For the first time in my adult life I felt like maybe, just maybe, I had found a home. That was perhaps 28 years ago and I have been studying Unarius ever since. The changes in me have been great and wonderful. I still feel the pain but I can handle it all quite well without medication. I am learning about myself, about life and my true purpose here. That brings me great comfort. I feel like I am finally pointed in the right direction.
Respectfully submitted
Gary Kainz
Submitted by: Gary Kainz on 08/22/2013
Tagged with: Voice of Venus
My goodness Gary. Thank you so much for sharing your life story. It really helps all of us to know we are all in approximately the same place. This isn’t easy at all, this life we are living on this earth plane. I see Unarius turned you around as it did me and started us in the right direction.Congratulations Brother…onward and upward.
I believe it is the pain generated from my unpolarized past that motivates me, perhaps all of us. There is only one way out, to study and conceive, apply it all to my life on my upward journey.
Dear Gary: Your relating of how you came into Unarius is indeed inspiring and shows all of us that if one is prepared on the inner worlds for this Science then nothing can deter us! Great testimonial!
Hi Gary. The story of your life struggles and how you found Unarius is so inspiring, thank you for sharing it with us. I was raised Catholic and went to parochial school too. I also knew my prayers and the Mass in Latin, and I had many disagreements with the nuns over catechism. I understand how strict discipline, religious doctrine, and insistence on blind faith can create painful, emotional conflicts within us.
You have had quite a journey of ups and downs. I truly admire your honesty here about what you went through to bring relief to your pain. It took courage to write that. It was fortuitous the way you discovered Unarius when your friend in Santa Monica had Unarius books in her library. Gary, I believe you truly have found your home here with all of us spiritual seekers on the lighted path!
Madilyn thank you for your comments. This website is bringing us all together with an opportunity to share with each other in a healthy way…so much progress in a very short time. I wish you the best in your endeavors.
Dear Gary,
Very inspiring testimonial and life story. It’s good you persevered until you found the works of Dr. Norman. I also went through the books of Edgar Cayce and other metaphysical authors until discovering these truths we are studying. What confused me, however, was that in 1968 these books had already been out 10 years or so and were being essentially ignored. To my mind this information should have been shouted from the rooftops. I could only conclude that there must be a flaw so obvious that it wasn’t even worth discussing. So to find the flaw I studied all of the books for five years and still failed. They were flawless! We are all very fortunate to share this journey together….. Congrats Gary and Welcome Home!!…..Ken