An American Shaman
For many years I have been aware of a deep inner rage that I carried, occasionally triggered when I felt badly mistreated or spoken to in a rude manner. I also carried another energy I could not quite put my finger on, energy that when I tuned into it nearly brought me to tears. I felt like weeping. In the past two years, this weeping energy came to me more often, perhaps weekly. I felt it to be part of an American Indian past, but I was unable to pin it down. And then the helping hand arrived in the form of my friend Leslie. She saw me as an American Indian, a shaman who saw the immediate future, who could see what was coming.
Within a few hours it was all clear to me. I have always had a very strong rapport with the American Indians. In my heart, I loved them and I had a hard time with the way they had been treated by the so called Christian White Man. With Leslie’s guiding hand I was easily able to place myself in that era where I saw the new future unfolding in my mind’s eye, a future that was horrible to behold for the people I loved. During the day I did what I could to help and comfort those coming to me and at night I wept, engulfed in a deep sorrow that was all mine. I could tell no one about what I was seeing; they would not understand and even if they did nothing could be done. It was better that they did not know. Had I told them it would have destroyed all hope. At the same time my anger for the White Man grew to where it became the rage I have carried with me to this day. The White Man was going to win this war and the way of life of the American Indian was rapidly coming to an end. The White Man made many, many promises to the Red Man, all of which he broke save one. He promised he would take all the land for himself, and he did. In the past few days I have felt a release of the rage and the weeping with regard to this cycle. I know I have been the white man also in the reenactment of this play on our screen of life.
Submitted by: Gary Kainz on 05/18/2014
Tagged with: Voice of Venus