Several years ago in my pre-Unariun days, maybe around 1985, I experienced a very vivid dream/vision. I was at my home in this dream, a very beautiful home in a valley surrounded on all sides by 
mountains covered with a pine forest. It was early in the morning and I was outside, in the corral with my horse. My senses were highly attuned to everything going on around me, every sound and every movement. I quickly realized that there were six assassins hiding in the brush in the hillside above me. They had come to kill me. Somehow I knew exactly where they were. They were spaced apart in a 180 degree arc. I casually walked over to retrieve my weapon, a special handmade assassin’s rifle. I took a few seconds to assemble it as I formulated a plan in my mind. As I completed the assembly I immediately took aim at assassin number one and fired. The bullet found its mark. I repeated this process for the next three assassins, each time successfully finding my target with a fatal shot. I aimed and pulled the trigger at assassin number five and my trusty rifle misfired. I set my sights on number six and again my aim was perfect. As I swung back to take care of number five my chest exploded, a fatal shot had penetrate
d my heart. Then I woke up.
During this same period I would take time each day to sit back, close my eyes and relax. In this relaxed state I would see pictures of men flash by, one at a time, hundreds of them, maybe thousands. This went on for weeks, perhaps months. I don’t think I ever saw the same face twice. I had a friend who was a pretty good psychic and I asked her about these flashing pictures. She smiled at me and replied that someday I would know.
I analyzed that dream for a long time, looking for the missing pieces. Frederick Forsyth’s book “The Day of the Jackal” had been especially fascinating to read. At that time my ego still had the best of me and I wore that lifetime proudly as inwardly I knew that I had accomplished great things in that high
ly trained professional endeavor. When the Bourne movies (staring Matt Damon) came out I was again fascinated. I watched the movies over and over as I would pick up more nuances every time. A few weeks ago I was again watching one of these movies. Jason Bourne was an assassin, trained by the CIA. His true identity was lost to him, compartmentaliz
ed somewhere in his mind by the CIA brainwashing. He was trying to regain that memory, to escape this mind control he had been subjected to. He was explaining this to his girlfriend, frustrated that he could not find his true past. He related that even his attempts to sleep were tormented, when he closed his eyes he saw pictures of all the people he had killed. And then I knew…I really knew. The photos I had viewed in my relaxed state all those years ago were my victims, all the people I had killed.
Today I often contemplate all of this and more, gross decadent materialism, the unquenchable thirst fo
r power and all that goes with it. My only wish is to lead a quiet, peaceful, harmonious, pain free life and to gain all the knowledge I can of the Life of Spirit. I have had enough of life here in the bottom of the pit where jackals feed. It is time to move on.
Submitted by: Gary on 01/30/2015
Tagged with: Voice of Venus
Thank you Gary for submitting this testimonial. My immediate response was not what one would expect from a unarian…I felt compassion for you that you had to suffer these realizations. I truly am glad for you that you have come face-to-face with your past and that you now can move on. However, I am disappointed in myself that I have not yet come to a time and place in my evolution that I would not have “fallen back” in my first reaction to your post. Move forward in your endeavors.
Gary, you truly had a remarkable realization and breakthrough! Perhaps that vivid and incredibly detailed dream in 1985 was an actual slice from one of your past lives presented to you by the Brothers even in your “pre-Unariun” days because you were already being prepared on the Inner. That parade of faces of thousands of men flashing before your eyes…what a breakthrough when you realized and accepted that they were the faces of people you had killed in the past. As you said, you wore that lifetime proudly because you were highly skilled and had great accomplishments. And as we learn as Unariun students, through understanding the principles as taught by The Moderator, we can look at things we may have been proud of accomplishing in the past, examine that and turn it from negative to positive. To lead a more harmonious Life of Spirit is a wonderful goal, and really the only goal for any of us moving forward in our evolution.
I haven’t seen the Jackal movie but I did see three or four of the Bourne Identity movies and I was fascinated too. Of course, truly examining my interest and affinity in the Jason Bourne character (watching the movies, I understood and related to the character) really says there is much to be worked out for me in regard to similar things I’ve done in past lives as well. It hadn’t occurred to me before reading your post that relating to and understanding the Bourne character could have similar roots in my own past. Thank you for posting this because I had never really examined my past in relation to lifetimes where I’ve been trained to destroy others. This has caused me to pause and think about it. Thank you to you and the Brothers. What you have realized has helped me too.
Wishing much Light to you on your path to a Life of Spirit and harmony,
Madilyn
Gary,
When I read your post, I thought about Chris Kyle and his book, American Sniper. I haven’t read it, but I have been repulsed by all the comments I’ve heard regarding his pride in being a sniper. However, your testimonial caused me to feel compassion for you, to be glad that you have been able to confront that aspect of your past, hopefully becoming out-of-phase with it. Its wonderful that you want something else, now, and if you stay on the path you have chosen, you are moving toward the peace and harmony you seek. More Light!
Hello Shirley…I appreciate your comment. My main intention in submitting a testimonial is to polarize my past with regard to these events. I know I cannot carry these violent energies upstairs with me as they would pollute that environment. It is my intention to build my residence somewhere appropriate in a higher world. By cleansing my psychic of this material debris I am accomplishing my goal. If you are reacting to my post you have similar energies buried somewhere in your psychic. I wish you the best in rooting that out and continuing your upward trek into the dimension of spirit.
Gary Kainz
Naimah,
I was also repulsed by Chris Kyle and his prideful attitude, a very healthy repulsion. I appreciate your comment and I look forward to your continued participation here…nice to be in touch with those who are passionate about their progressive evolution.
Hello Madilyn! Actually this was remarkable, 30 years in the making. I do believe the dream was an actual past. It was so real while I was in it. Watching Matt Damon in the Bourne movies brought the whole picture into focus…the horror of it all. I suppose it took so long as I could only handle this in bits and pieces. Thank you for your comment, your fascination with these movies will lead you to your own workout someday.
Greetings Gary,
It would be nice if I could look in the mirror and say,”mirror mirror on the wall I was never as nasty at all, but I know better! I too, like you, have lived some shaded life(s)that at the time I thought was glorious or useful for my ego.
On both my small hands, I bear large knuckles on the first two fingers as a testimony of past warrior lives. Ruth had taken notice of my knuckles one day and put my hands between hers and smiled. She said I was a different kind of warrior now. I knew what she meant.
I too can relate to just wanting some peace in my life and I know that I must earn that, and yet I do have a peace within myself knowing that it will come when I work out the negative that kept me attached to the material planes. It will come, that I am sure of.
Gary, thank you for your post, I really appreciate it old friend.
Love and Light always,
Lesley
Hello Lesley,
Thank you for your comment…so nice to meet an old friend again and pick up from where we left off. It is important for me to feel the camaraderie with you and others…gives me encouragement to continue to write and post.
Gary
Dear Gary,
Excellent recognitions. When I saw the movie ‘Day of the Jackal’, what fascinated me most was the systematic method of police work used to try and catch him. Figuring out or solving puzzles very much intrigues me. As a kid, the library was always my place to find a new Magic or Riddle book! When I saw the Bourne movies, it was Jason’s trying to solve his dilemma of Amnesia which held my interest most. Whether in books or movies, it seems that the things which stand out most to us, are those which more directly resonate with our past lives.
For instance, in reading your post, what stood out to me was when you said, “At that time my Ego still had the best of me, and I wore that lifetime proudly as inwardly I knew that I had accomplished great things in that highly trained professional endeavor.”
Well, this resonated with my own past of being programmed and being a trained professional tool of a tyrannical government. The programming included one of those ‘You’ll never Remember’ lines and was loaded with heavy Egotistical praise of doing that trained-for duty!!! The Infinite only knows how many centuries I have regenerated in various forms that egotistical, negative distortion. The government at those times had the control, and to be a recipient of it, means unfortunately, I dished it out too…stupidly!
By the way Gary, I’m with you in your desire only to live a Life of Spirit! Also, I want to Thank you again for your testimonial (I’m glad for you). It gave me, as well, the opportunity to once more reflect on my own problem…..L&L…..Ken.